Vrinkesh – The Divine Home

The moments where we find our peace and happiness are the places, people and activities which are creating us sub consciously. Their effects over the period of time become our identity. If a place, person, activity, a song, a video or information is capturing your attention, take a note, that it has the power to mould your mind. If you are investing your time with someone or at a place, its culture is imbibing within you. The kind of emotion it ignites in you is building you.

No matter who you are today. You are created as a product by your environment. Whether you realize it or not, you were conditioned since childhood according to your surrounding. While growing up, you moulded yourself based on the kind of people you met, the kind of content or the information you consumed.

The emotional part of your mind plays a role of watch guard in allowing or disallowing someone or withdrawing from a situation. If it feels unsafe or challenged, angry or just bored around someone or something, it will automatically withdraw. Instead, if it feels accepted, appreciated, welcomed, loved around a person or entertained in a show or movie, it is likely to find the source of it more often.

Sometimes that emotion can be manipulated artificially to use against you. Also, because of the same emotions your environment may play in favour or against you. Like the advertisement companies do take advantage of your emotions or like the players in dating games apply their tricks on their victims.

But even if we know this all, where our role comes in? I feel the answer is, in monitoring. Monitoring what we feel when we meet a person, when we watch any content, when we start working, dating or even while learning anything.

Ask questions about your emotions. If you feel accepted or appreciated, ask yourself, am I getting too comfortable in this space? Is my presence and time best invested at this place? Am I learning something or just repeating what I already know? Am I growing into a smarter and calmer person? Am I becoming too annoyed or irritated? Am I becoming more giving or exploiting others? Can I do something different? Are the friends I am living with kind to me and others? Do they have good moral values? Are they ambitious enough to challenge my comfort zone? Am I getting addicted to a substance, a person, a place? Is the current pattern favouring me or diminishing my potential? Are my moral values helping others or harming others?

Question everything….the environment of the school you went? The behaviour you shown there? The friends you chose? The way a teacher shouted at you? The way a boy or girl demeaned you? The strategy you applied to win a game? The books you got bored of? The subject you enjoyed?

Why you felt whatever you felt? And how it impacted your journey? How it is impacting now? Is the workplace you go to is bringing out your full potential? Is there a challenge you are supposed to face but avoiding? Is there a fear you are running away from and choosing a life you well know of? Is the partner you chose correct? Or you both have out grown each other?

Something that felt wrong a decade ago may feel right now! And something that felt right yesterday may feel wrong a week later.

I had a colleague in my first job whom I hated because of the attitude he used to throw because of the knowledge he used to withhold as a first joiner. He learnt systems before rest of us because he came a few days ago. Our seniors used to tell us to ask him as he knows. And he used to act too busy to explain. And I used to hate his behaviour. Once we even had an argument to an extent which made me cry really bad. That day I was so sure we can never become friends.

Six years down the line, today, we are very good friends and today I know how bad corporates are to understand his “too busy” attitude.

One thing I learnt a little late is forgiving works! And people do act kindly when you take the initiative to be kind! Once we forgive someone and act normally the other person also comes around and act better than you would expect! So take that initiative! Let go off the grudges! If you have to bear a person around act till you actually mean it. See how the other person responds. If the cruelty continues, make distance but try to get normal instead of fueling an old argument or holding a grudge.

But again, choosing people who you spend your time with should be a calculated decision. Scan the people you come around before getting too close. A lot of them are snakes ready to bite as they are also programmed through their environment and selfish patterns planted within them. Heartlessly speaking that but that’s how the world is designed. A friend may turn a foe one day. And the love of your life may turn an ex the other day! Remember the hardest truths and wear an armour around your heart but still choose kindness when it comes to creating your behavioural patterns. Your self love would thank you one day while looking back.

Wish you a happy self sufficient soul searching!!