Vrinkesh – The Divine Home of Emotional Healings

Getting attached to someone and then complaining the person endlessly for not giving you equal attention! Sounds like felt somewhere?

Most of us are on complaining side making the other person villain for ignoring us. As a chaser, it is so hard to see the side of the runner.

It sounds very justified when we are on complaining side and making the other person feel guilty. I have done that for years. 

One fine day I came on the receiving side of those complaints, when a lady got over attached to me and started expecting my calls every next day. Not just started expecting, she started shouting also when I called her a little late. 

Years ago, I was that lady who was shouting on someone for not fulfilling my expectations without realizing I was getting over attached and it is becoming extremely toxic for the other person.  The person had become villain in my head without realizing that am the problem. 

It is hard to see the runner is dealing with guilt and suffocation. The load of complaints is heavy to carry and difficult to put off. 

Affection becomes an obligation especially if the person cares about you and does not want to hurt you. 

The suffocating behaviour is going to push that person even farther as we are attacking their mental peace. Taking care of one’s mental peace is his/her right. 

We the over attachers need to understand we are hurting the person as well through our behaviour. 

It is hard to accept but detachment is the only medicine for the chasers. Over attachment tied with expectations are recipes to destroy any relationship. 

Easy said than done. I know detachment takes practice but realization of over attachment is the first step. 

We create attachment in our head without seeking a consent of equal reciprocation from the other person. Thus, making the other person feel guilty about not fulfilling your expectations is unfair.

We feel so much deserving to receive the affection when we are at the complaining side. But it is hard to see the perspective of the runner. 

One fine day when we recollect our thoughts we realize the cause of our emotional pain is nothing but our own entangled emotions tied up with unpromised expectations. 

The other person never committed you what you are expecting. Even if they did, it is always their right to rethink about the connection. Our expectation and attachment can not make the other person bound to reciprocate the same love. If you are on the chaser side surrender your love to god. Every time you miss this person, pray for the person instead of complaining to this person. Give your best wishes in your prayers for the person and set them free with no harsh feelings.

If you are on the runner side, forgive the chaser. They need some time, space and realization to set you free! Bless them and heal yourself. You are not guilty for not loving them. It was never your obligation to reciprocate! It is their lesson to detach!

Let’s practice to unconditionally bless and let people go on their journey with no expectations attached!

I know it’s super hard! But still, let’s practice!